I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize