You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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