You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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