I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize