there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
