I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
