Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize