sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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