so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
