Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
