Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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