If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
