My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
