DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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