Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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