So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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