it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
