She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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