Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
