take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
