Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
