its not stalking. its research.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
