I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize