You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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