i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
