im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
