Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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