i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
MIDGETS
????
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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