evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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