I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
