If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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