THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
