question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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