just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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