i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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