You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was like eating out sand paper
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
