i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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