is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
