She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
