I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
