Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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