When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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