is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I could fuck to npr.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
