I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
