I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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