he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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