Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
