Dual....:-)
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
