I'm going to jail i love you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
