Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
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Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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