so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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