I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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