He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
