A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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