I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
