so that wasnt chicken after all
I smell stomach acid.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
