dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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