Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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