I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
