Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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