i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just cropdusted the office
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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