I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
