your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
