I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
