so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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