using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
