In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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