I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize