idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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