Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
