you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
